Contrary to popular belief, men and women are from the same species. Yet, for whatever reason, there’s a great deal of confusion on both parts on how to attract the other. There’s plenty of information out there on what someone should do to get the girl at the end. We all know the basics: have a good sense of humor, be confident, actively listen, all that good stuff. There are still some things, though, that not even women might realize they find attractive in a partner.
That’s not to say that there’s some hidden puzzle that will unlock the secret to any woman’s heart, no matter what some horribly misguided “pick-up artist” might tell you. That said, it’s common sense that women are looking for someone who’s a kind person and shows respect. The science here is just to give some insight into what the ladies in your life might be thinking every time you roll up your sleeves nonchalantly. Here are the secret things men do that women actually find attractive.
Geek out about his passions
Teen movies in the 1980s imbued us with the idea that the geek never gets the silver daddies girl. So someone might think it would be a social disaster to start gushing about your love for Star Trek on your first date – but that might not be the case. Psychologist and PhD Jeanette Raymond told the site AskMen, “A man who has a keen interest or passion in something outside of himself signals that he is able to take care of himself, make himself happy and utilize his time productively – which is a real turn-on.”
It turns out that it doesn’t matter if it’s your favorite sports team or Power Rangers that gets you excited. Some might call it geeking out, others say it’s passion, but, according to dating expert Evan Marc Katz, regardless of the topic, that’s a huge positive in the dating world. Katz claims that women tell him all the time they want someone who’s passionate. He explains that if you’re passionate, you exude confidence, which is always key in any social situation.
This just goes to show you some of the weird things your brain does without you knowing. A study done by the University of Rochester shows that women find men wearing red more attractive than those that don’t. Andrew Elliot, the study’s lead author and professor of psychology at the university, concluded that, “women view men in red as higher in status, more likely to make money and more likely to climb the social ladder. And it’s this high-status judgment that leads to the attraction.”
There are a lot of possible reasons why we may associate red with power or dominance. Some scientists theorize that it’s because red is associated with aggressive behavior, due to the reddening of the face when a person is angry. Red was also an expensive dye throughout history, and was relegated to the wealthy and royal. Perhaps our cultural assumption is that red means wealthy. Whatever the reason, if you’re a man, you might want to consider putting on a dash of scarlet for your next romantic venture.
Be a good friend to his buddies
We all get by with a little help from our friends. A big part of being a good friend is being kind, and it turns out that women find that very attractive. Purdue University has found that when men have solid friendships, their likability with women increases significantly. Women furthermore rated traits such as ego support, conflict management, and comforting skills as the most important aspects of a relationship, romantic or platonic. In contrast, men rated persuasive and narrative skills as more important.